Exterminate Like A God

Well, i’m no scientologist (that’s a smart person word for scientist right), but i’ve been spouting off about how fantastic irradiation is for years. Irradiation: its the process they’ve used to keep that super bacon edible for months in your cupboard, and its very similar to how the meat in your can of ravioli stays safe. Basically, to preserve, you either cook the shit out of something or hit it with radiation, and then immediately throw it into a perfectly sealed container. If there is absolutely no bacteria in the packaged food, then there is no possibility of bacteria growing and making people sick.

I started thinking, I’ll bet there are further applications for a devise that reliably wipes out all living organisms within a certain space.

Well the laundromat first off, who isn’t grossed out by the idea of billions of parasites living in your pillows and blankets. Throw a pillow in the $5 irradiator machine, and it comes out parasite free (give it a fluff to knock out the dead bodies). Pool size- the irradiation blanket. No more need for chlorine. House size- ultimate exterminator, nothing alive in your house. No bugs, no rodents, no parasites- nothing. (Find a sitter for the pets). Jean Luc Picard almost died when his enterprise went through a similar devise. They didn’t call it irradiation though, some type of shmackmalan ray or something. . ..

Last night at work that raw milk farmer from the papers made a speech. The man has been charged for selling unpasteurized milk. Defiantly, immediately following his court appearance, he drank milk outside the courthouse- pretty damn cool. He’s totally in league with the wrong crowd though, supported by the same people who push for more organics and natural foods. Problem is, milk doesn’t work that way, yuppies can’t just go out and drink unpasteurized milk. Unless you’ve always been drinking it, its probably gonna make you really sick.

But here’s the thing creepier than the bugs in your pillow. People drank unpasteurized milk for thousands of years, so why can’t we handle it? or why can’t we drink the water when traveling, yet the locals can? and why do antibiotics slowly stop working? All this sterilizing is making us weaker.

Remember War of the Worlds? The aliens die from all the parasites on earth- we’re completely wallowing in bacteria and parasites constantly. It’s essential that we keep our bodies equipped to deal with them because we are never going to completely wipe them out. I suppose we could try to irradiate the planet, but that may prove problematic. The best idea is you give yourself a measured dose of something bad and your body will be ready to deal with an accidental dose later from nature. Its the same reason vaccinations work.

So go live in filth.

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4 Responses to “Exterminate Like A God”

  1. exuvia Says:

    Nuke your pillow. Could that excite my neurons and end my good nights rest? Want to know before I go out and get that piece of Uranium.
    A regular dose of sterilized canned lifeless beans would add up to the anti parasitic effect of radiation in your gut. That is particularly welcome in the third world, and if you keep those lifeless cans next to your personal piece they could last you for decades; in fact they would probably last you out. We all have to die sometime. Sounds like a Blue Ilk Heaven Thunders saying: “First the parasites die then man and then the oceans with all his shit; how!” How? who’s shit?

  2. in my ignorance Says:

    id think that irradiation would be cancerous dont yew? yup every food these days are coated in some nasty shit aint it? especially canned food and all the sorts. i find it disgusting

  3. remistevens Says:

    whatever food is cheapest to produce wins the battle onto store shelves. Salt, MSG and Fat taste good, so unhealthy food mixed with some heavy marketing is what were left with. Cheap and believable to most consumers.

    Were all getting heavy doses of that radiation on a daily basis. It cant help to be blasting our food with it. . . . .Soon they’ll just start transporting all food shipments through Chernobyl, the ultimate irradiator.

  4. in my ignorance Says:

    oh yea. ya i just read up on chernobyl. that was intense

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