Filthy Kitchen Update: Universal Remote

In a world with more remote controlled products than minutes in the day, Remi Stevens’ reveals a quick, affordable tip to consolidate your remote controls. Following this simple advice enables you to live longer without leaving your couch.

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: B-
“Is it me or were there some real techwological differences with this vid. The audio seems all out of sync or something, and did you call your remotes the ‘holy trinity’? That’s just offensive. I’m being a little lenient with regards to the score here however, since this one technically works- if you don’t give a shit what your stuff looks like!”

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2 Responses to “Filthy Kitchen Update: Universal Remote”

  1. exuvia Says:

    This is the most useful do it yourself tip of the decade.

    It’s a true time saver and in many ways a symbol of human brilliance.

    The time I used to spend searching for one or the other I now spend in natural awe before this structural design of ease.

    The increase in size and the intense neon color of the tape is a crime preventing feature not to underestimate. No guest will feel inclined to slip your mega control into his pocket for fear of being visually detected in the intent.

    And think about the farewell hug… as they leave! Both your wife and yourself – if you are the affectionate type -will instantly detect the hard bulky disturbance in the pocket. Whats that in your pocket Larry?

    Hey…

    Christmas is saved by this ingenious prop. No household should be without it. Imagine your gift budget reduced to a piece of transparent duct tape and a set of carbon copied instructions on recycled slips of paper. Its happy smiles all around
    …and the right signal to send out before the immanent economic paradigm shift from planned growth to planned reductions. In the future Santa Claus and our minister of finance will be referred to as: The ‘shrink’.

    It’s not how much it cost… its the thought.

  2. remistevens Says:

    Oh honey, did you get me a bag? Its perfect, i can use it to take my jewellery to the pawn shop- and a bushel of apples! We’re gonna eat for weeks!

    Maybe Santa will be repo-ing what he brought us last year?
    .
    .
    .
    .

    Excuse me?! That hard bulky disturbance is my penis.

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