“Merry Christmas”

Yes, I said it. I’m not encouraging worship of Jesus. Nor am I trying to offend anyone. Its just a greeting, relax. “Happy holidays” and “xmas” are great, and if you find Christmas offensive please feel free to use these alternatives. . . .but why do you find “Merry Christmas” offensive?


“Christmas is a time when people of all faiths can come together to worship Jesus.”

A co-worker invites you to his wedding, you gladly accept. Being from a distant land, you find the ceremony of the wedding completely unfamiliar. At the conclusion, the wedding guests line up to congratulate the couple. As per tradition, you notice that every other guest begins his congratulation with the exclamation: “Faltoboos!” Now, unless your a jerk, you’re going to do the same. “Faltoboos!” might literally mean “i accept this religion”, but you’re not accepting a religion just because of a simple word. For you, the word simply means you respect your friend and wish him the best.

Bought some steaks from the butcher down the street, he said “Merry Christmas”. The crazy pet store owning cat lady, also, “Merry Christmas”. At the mall? Not an utterance of Christmas anywhere. . . . I think all of this is absolutely OK. The butcher owns his shop, no one from central command is telling him how to greet customers so he has the freedom to greet as he sees fit. The mall store clerks, getting direction from above, toe the line line of non-offence and only give out “happy holidays”.

Stores have the words “peace”, “love” and “happiness” plastered all over the place. Now this, this i find offensive. Good words with good meanings stolen and re-defined as “buy shit”. .“Love” is human, beautiful, social- love does not exist within the realm of buying a shirt. If you try and sell to me using “love”- I promise i won’t buy a goddamn thing. Unprofitable words like beige and insurance have been remove from our lexicon. Words with any meaning are being discarded or drained of life. “Merry Christmas” has meaning, I’ll keep using it just to try and save it, and i love the fact that its something i can say that will never be reiterated by corporate.

Many religions are wrapping up their yearly calendars at this time of year. Something wide ranging like a franchise or government probably shouldn’t officially choose a greeting which applies to a specific religion. My butcher says it, its one guy’s belief. The butcher at a Blablaws grocery store says it, its policy. Naturally corporate always takes the blandest route of non-offence so as not to drive potential customers away, but in all fairness, the corporate oligarchy should not maintain a religious preference. When the king starts calling favourites, everything goes to shit. State and religion must be separate.

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4 Responses to ““Merry Christmas””

  1. ponch58 Says:

    Do you actually think the butcher at Blahblahs says “Merry Christmas” due to corporate instruction? Wow. Your conspiracy theories have reached a new level of madness. You rival Mel Gibson. The whole not saying the phrase thing has reached a level of ridiculousness and I agree, it is nice that it keeps it out of the hands of advertising, but to suggest that the big wigs at a grocery chain have any effect on a guy working in the store is pure lunacy.

    I picked up a chair at Leon’s this year. The last two things the shipper said to me were, in this order, “These people are fucked” and “Merry Christmas” I don’t think either of these commands came down from head office.

    In Sobey’s today, “Have a Merry Christmas” Canadian Tire, “Merry Christmas sir.” These wishes were genuine. They were from a person. They were an offered kindness. Finding the evil in this is a waste of time. Just take it and more importantly, give it back. It’s the nature of the holiday.

    Merry Christmas

    From a non Christian

    • remistevens Says:

      Our visitor service agents were instructed not to say “Christmas”, I’m sure any non-secular large operation has done the same thing. . . .So i guess big wigs don’t care whether their employees offend customers? Great point M, that one makes a lot of sense. Instruction has been given, whether or not employees follow that instruction or are disiplined is another story.

      Merry syphilis and a clappy new year.

  2. exuvia Says:

    Would that be a chlamydian new year ? I mean if the syphilides, the watery angels of death, have been summoned then chlamydia must be next.

    • remistevens Says:

      I think the clamydian new year is the one that hits on the 7th of Jan. Still loyal to Caesar, I celebrate my VD on the 1st!

      Thanks for all the support this year Exuvia! You’ve been great, and your comments are always exquisite. Don’t let the fire burn out friend, very happy to blog with you again in 2010!

      Remi

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