Jim Smetchland Reviews: Twilight, New Moon

Honestly, i just don’t understand what all the hub-bub is about. I can’t understand why there are fanatical fans of this series, nor can i understand why there are fervent detractors. OOOooo, a movie about vampires, what a great new concept. People didn’t freak out when Interview With a Vampire or Transylvania 6-5000 came out and they were both better flicks.

Apparently in the Twilight series there is a romantic subcontext i haven’t yet discovered. Usually i tend to sleep through the mushier parts. This second Twilight release was a little more aggressive, gory, racy. As is standard with movie series, the second movie is generally the crappiest, but with the most filthiness. This time around the Vampires aren’t just fighting their own temptations and other Vampires, they’re fighting Werewolves, but in Twilight they go by the name “Dark Wooflers“. Of course furthering this, the third film features an even greater enemy who threatens to take out both Vamp and Were. They are the greatest enemy of all- man (remember when they tried to kill the X-men in that 3rd film?). . . . This flick even has baby Vampires, its ridiculous! . . .All of this can be verified when i actually see these movies. . . . .I know a fair bit about this type of thing.

Rating: B-

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One Response to “Jim Smetchland Reviews: Twilight, New Moon”

  1. ponch58 Says:

    Hey! Nice pic!

    I don’t understand the craziness surrounding these movies either! Nothing new, nothing interesting. I think it stems more from the books then the movies though. Started with little girls reading a “scary” book about vampires and they found out there were quasi-sex scenes to fill their freshly pubecized minds.

    What I don’t get is how this became a “cult favourite” of 20 – 40 yr old women! Is it a grasp at their youths? I suppose it’s like 20 – 40 yr old men trying to be in bands or riding quads or what have you, but at least that shit is fun!

    I don’t understand. It’s a little like masturbating to a Harry Potter movie. Sick and wrong.

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