Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

“Sex After Kids” – Jim Smetchland Reviews

April 4, 2012

Writer/Director Jeremy Lalonde doesn’t mess around. He’s got another full length film in the works and it looks awesome. I attended the pre-screening of his last film, great night. The energy of a fun cast was evident in the theatre and on the screen. Lalonde’s got his cast ready for “Sex After Kids”, but he could still use your help producing it!


This is a procrastination alert, there are only 10 days left in the campaign to finance the film! Its up to about 90% of the total goal, so now is the time (more…)

My 30 seconds on GOOGLET

July 21, 2011

May have been more, it felt like an eternity.

google social network networking media

Remi Stevens sent me an invite to Googlet and i joined. Opening screen, gray icons, none are active. I pressed until it relented starting an interactive tour. Titles of icons make no sense, I’m like a toddler learning where the green square fits. A flashing saw blade named ‘sparks’ caught my eye first, of course its a pure adverti$ing portal. Finished the mandatory tour and it made me join again, so i joined again…. Figured i’d link to Remi. He’s not recommended, doesn’t search, is nowhere. Pop-up boxes inhibit my search- its like being at the mall. Alas, hidden, ‘notifications’ has him in the far corner. Fooled, i move to press the ‘add to circles’ button and another box flies open forcing me to determine Remi as friend family or acquaintance– he’s none of these. Won’t let me close, so i select ‘friend’, still no close. I label him a new category: ‘jim’ and the site lets me proceed. A circle called: ‘following’, not even sure what that means? A band would have a following, but a fan would follow…all so confusing. Pop-ups, boxes. Grey screens like a film that restrict me from touching anything. Red bars periodically pop up at the top warning about saving or not saving or something……It directs me like a prodded steer into a mandatory profile setup. There are tabs on top of my profile for: info, videos, photos, and “+1’s” -whatever the hell that means! Press the damn thing and another box jumps open asking if you want to add the “+1’s” to your profile that you just opened from your profile. box box box I’m done.

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: -F

Top 6 Worst Computer Viruses of All Time

July 15, 2011

Pop-ups, slow downs, restarts, program failures, and a computer bogged down. Mysterious new files are created, old important ones are deleted. Whatever you were working on gets interrup. . . .  Fight it? Might stop working altogether. Kill it? Too adaptive– a technerd updates it remotely. They invade our privacy and leach our information- even our money! These are the worst computer viruses: (more…)

Jim Reviews: Family Guy “Something” movie/episode bullshit

January 2, 2010

Was that the title? I don’t even give a shit. Here’s the hierarchy of Jokes for the Family Guy writers: (more…)

Filthy Kitchen Update: Sink Dishwasher!

November 7, 2009

Remi Stevens demonstrates a hands-free approach to washing dishes. All you’ll need for this one is a sink and your dirty – soon-to-be-clean – dishes. Remi Stevens’ “environmental” approach uses no chemicals, only water. (more…)

Filthy Kithchen Update: Air Freshener Plugin

October 19, 2009

Use the flavour that suits you best! (more…)

Filthy Kitchen Update: Quick Tip, Water Bottle Faucet

September 21, 2009

Make sure you have a tight sealing cap. Air can’t come in the top to replace water that would leave out the bottom, so water doesn’t leave. Its the same reason you (more…)

Filthy Kitchen Video: Home Defense

September 8, 2009

Keep an eye open for the upcoming article: “The Appearance of Security” for more information. Other options not mentioned in this presentation might include neck biting dogs and shooting people with guns. (more…)

Filthy Kitchen Article: Avoid Switching Gears

August 29, 2009

Whatever it is you do and are doing, its important to keep the task at hand at hand. Cooking a burger? You cook the first side fully, then do one necessary gear switch and flip the patty. Finish the second side and remove it from the heat. Only one gear switch, otherwise it comes out dry and shitty. Don’t waste time standing over a hot bbq wrecking your dinner. (more…)

Mogging: mugging while jogging, a new sport!

July 31, 2009


Earn $1000’s daily! Its the perfect combination. No one suspects a jogger of criminality. I can run right up to someone, take their wallet, and cleanly run away without anyone blinking an eye. (more…)