Archive for the ‘movies’ Category

“Sex After Kids” – Jim Smetchland Reviews

April 4, 2012

Writer/Director Jeremy Lalonde doesn’t mess around. He’s got another full length film in the works and it looks awesome. I attended the pre-screening of his last film, great night. The energy of a fun cast was evident in the theatre and on the screen. Lalonde’s got his cast ready for “Sex After Kids”, but he could still use your help producing it!


This is a procrastination alert, there are only 10 days left in the campaign to finance the film! Its up to about 90% of the total goal, so now is the time (more…)

Stupid 8

September 7, 2011

I was excited to see this movie and then entirely disappointed. Big budget movies; the preview is a better film. The preview had suspense, intrigue, mystery- the movie has very little of these. I won’t give anything away, but i will tell you what this flick isn’t. Its not a thought provoking intelligent sci-fi centered around a super 8 video recording. There just happens to be a super 8 camera present in the film, but its clearly tacked in for the purposes of title. All an attempt to prop up a very tired, very very familiar plot. Audio and video effects are stunning though, so down a few whacko caps and pretend this one’s worth watching once.

super8 steven spielberg sci-fi hollywood 2011 jj adams

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: C+

Knight and Day

May 27, 2011

Its movies like this that make me wish I was born in an era where Tom Cruise was not alive. . . .or possibly a universe where he never existed… I think I’ve figured out why so many big stars play characters who are spies or super heroes forced to act like normal people- makes it less obvious that Tom Cruise is incapable of acting like a normal person. Sure its contrived, its supposed to be. Want your dog to perform a trick while having a nap? Ask him to play dead… The end was just weird, they do a happy pitch-corrected pop song drive-away roll credits, then unexpectedly, a brief sombre finale followed by silent credits as though we’d just watched Shindler’s List or something. Maybe it just played wrong for me or something, I don’t get it?

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: D-

Smetchland Reviews: The Extendables

November 23, 2010

Its like a highschool yearbook for action stars; the camera didn’t capture anything interesting, but everyone managed to sit still and smile long enough to get some shots for the final print. (more…)

How to Watch TV/Movies Free!

March 17, 2010

Jim Smetchland Reviews has a new page!
Its called:Watch Any TV/Movie Free Right Now!
This blog post is a re-post of that page, you’ll want to check the original to keep up on the latest ways to get free TV/Movies. Link- Jim Smetchland TV/Movie Free Page!

Hi everyone, finally something useful from Remi and Jim! . . . (more…)

Filthy Kitchen Update: Universal Remote

December 1, 2009

In a world with more remote controlled products than minutes in the day, Remi Stevens’ reveals a quick, affordable tip to consolidate your remote controls. Following this simple advice enables you to live longer without leaving your couch. (more…)

What To Do When Aliens Arrive.

April 8, 2009


Shit your pants and run nowhere. But seriously, what is the real universal language? Sure we love you, we mean you no harm. How would we show it physically? Would physics even be the medium to convey our disposition? For all we know they could be mind readers or cross dimensional beings living in our underpants. (more…)

Movie Ratings Insufficient

January 9, 2009

Movies rating systems don’t go far enough. “R” could mean just about anything imaginable might happen in the movie. Sure, you may get a somewhat obscured view of genitalia or the acting is unrealistic, or the injuries and violence seem fake, but narratively, the shocking event has occurred. You may not have seen it happen in real life, but it has been represented in your head. I look at a painting of my dentist, im gonna picture the real dude. I see a movie decapitation, i internalize a (more…)

Nothing is Arbitrary

December 19, 2008

Well, if somebody made a decision about something, they necessarily had to chose between options. The act of choosing itself depicts an understanding. If you were truly deadlocked, you could not act. Whatever the minute detail is that pushes you one way or the other may be outside of your own consciousness (more…)

The Impossible Universe

December 13, 2008


Universe not Finite

Well, there cant just be a wall out there at some great distance on the other side of which is nothing, cause hey, if its got an other side then that’s something. So people like to theorize that if you traveled in one direction long enough you would eventually get back to where you started. Fine, but how the hell can you travel infinitely in (more…)