Posts Tagged ‘action’

Stupid 8

September 7, 2011

I was excited to see this movie and then entirely disappointed. Big budget movies; the preview is a better film. The preview had suspense, intrigue, mystery- the movie has very little of these. I won’t give anything away, but i will tell you what this flick isn’t. Its not a thought provoking intelligent sci-fi centered around a super 8 video recording. There just happens to be a super 8 camera present in the film, but its clearly tacked in for the purposes of title. All an attempt to prop up a very tired, very very familiar plot. Audio and video effects are stunning though, so down a few whacko caps and pretend this one’s worth watching once.

super8 steven spielberg sci-fi hollywood 2011 jj adams

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: C+

Advertisements

Kokoda and Takers

July 5, 2011

I was emptying a dresser full of old junk drawers on the weekend and I watched Kokoda and Takers. Takers had Charles Miner from the office and that Matt guy, not demon, the other one. (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: The Extendables

November 23, 2010

Its like a highschool yearbook for action stars; the camera didn’t capture anything interesting, but everyone managed to sit still and smile long enough to get some shots for the final print. (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Green Zone

April 21, 2010

Matt Affleck tromps around Baghdad as an army Sargent just following the invasion of Iraq (Bush II). Before each scene they karate chopped his neck to gruff up his voice disguising his pansiness somewhat (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Sherlock Holmes (2009)

March 31, 2010

Robert Downey Jr. stars as Johnny Depp in Sherlock Holmes. Spoiler Alert!!! (more…)

Fixing Prices and Everything Else

February 11, 2010

Planned obsolescence as an industry standard is price fixing. Its the legal, hidden equivalent to retailers jacking their prices in unison. Purchases: remember its not just the price, but how much you’re getting. Take something like dish soap. The water and container aren’t of any use to you, so lets assume when you buy a container of dish soap you are really just after a quantity of soap ingredients. (more…)

Jim Smetchland Reviews: Twilight, New Moon

February 6, 2010

Honestly, i just don’t understand what all the hub-bub is about. I can’t understand why there are fanatical fans of this series, nor can i understand why there are fervent detractors. OOOooo, a movie about vampires, what a great new concept. (more…)

What To Do When Aliens Arrive.

April 8, 2009


Shit your pants and run nowhere. But seriously, what is the real universal language? Sure we love you, we mean you no harm. How would we show it physically? Would physics even be the medium to convey our disposition? For all we know they could be mind readers or cross dimensional beings living in our underpants. (more…)

Making Planned Obsolescence Illegal

December 26, 2008


Ever wonder how the package knows exactly when your light bulb will burn out? Annoyed that yet another cellphone battery has gone dead and replacements are not available? Amazed at the precision with which manufacturers are able to make products that last exactly 2 weeks longer than their warranties? (more…)