Posts Tagged ‘movie reviews’

The Untitled Work of Paul Shepard

October 22, 2011

I had the honour of attending a preview screening of this independent flick- the success of this review site gets me invited to a lot of Galas so don’t be surprised! (more…)

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Kokoda and Takers

July 5, 2011

I was emptying a dresser full of old junk drawers on the weekend and I watched Kokoda and Takers. Takers had Charles Miner from the office and that Matt guy, not demon, the other one. (more…)

Knight and Day

May 27, 2011

Its movies like this that make me wish I was born in an era where Tom Cruise was not alive. . . .or possibly a universe where he never existed… I think I’ve figured out why so many big stars play characters who are spies or super heroes forced to act like normal people- makes it less obvious that Tom Cruise is incapable of acting like a normal person. Sure its contrived, its supposed to be. Want your dog to perform a trick while having a nap? Ask him to play dead… The end was just weird, they do a happy pitch-corrected pop song drive-away roll credits, then unexpectedly, a brief sombre finale followed by silent credits as though we’d just watched Shindler’s List or something. Maybe it just played wrong for me or something, I don’t get it?

Jim Smetchland’s Rating: D-

Space Attack!

May 3, 2011

This was a great flick. Scientist Kevin Spacey discovers something. Attack is imminent, no one would believe him, no one except veteran FBI agent Bruce Willis and hot shot Keanu his new partner. Its gripping to watch these pros in action, scene after scene they just stare at each other blankly and so much tension and emotion is implied (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: The Extendables

November 23, 2010

Its like a highschool yearbook for action stars; the camera didn’t capture anything interesting, but everyone managed to sit still and smile long enough to get some shots for the final print. (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Pirate Radio

April 26, 2010

PSHoffman is good as usual, I just can’t be bothered to write his full name out. These actors and their goddamn 3 part stage names, if you don’t use your fake middle name you will never win an award for your acting. How about Joseph Manwell Flatulence someone should start calling themselves that to get respect (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Green Zone

April 21, 2010

Matt Affleck tromps around Baghdad as an army Sargent just following the invasion of Iraq (Bush II). Before each scene they karate chopped his neck to gruff up his voice disguising his pansiness somewhat (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Sherlock Holmes (2009)

March 31, 2010

Robert Downey Jr. stars as Johnny Depp in Sherlock Holmes. Spoiler Alert!!! (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Lost

March 21, 2010

Let’s be honest, tv dramas are stupid, I mean what is the point really? In my entire life, there have been only 2 i bothered to watch: Lost and Battlestar Galactica. Go figure, they had to be sci-fi. To be fair, i suppose i also watched Quantum Leap, but no one actually believed that Bakula was going to escape (more…)

Smetchland Reviews: Imaginarium of Dr. Onassis

March 6, 2010

Heath Ledger od’d while working on this, so conveniently, this is now the second movie they get to call his last. Remember when they delayed the premier of Batman to ‘grieve’. Let people hold candle light vigils, then open the $theatre doors$ (more…)